Lucifer, and Devil: Devout Christians
by Andrew Bridgman
- Dave- Father Juniper, a sulken priest
- Bruce- Satan, small boy with a kind heart and misleading name
- Kevin-Lucifer, small boy with a kind heart and misleading
- Scott-Devil, small boy with a kind heart and misleading name
- Mark-God, a grown man with an evil mind and a misleading name
[Father Juniper is behind his desk drinking a large bottle of
whiskey and shaking his head]
Juniper: SATAN! SHOW YOURSELF AND QUIT TORMENTING ME!!!
[Satan walks in, wearing a Boy Scouts uniform and smiling]
Juniper: Huh? Who are you?
My name is Satan.
Juniper: But I know you, you're the boy who donated $300 dollars
and both of his kidneys to charity. You're probably the most devout
member of the church, you've never even killed a man! Your name
Juniper: Okay, fine, I won't even ask WHY you're named that,
but I was not talking about you, I was talking about Lucifer,
he's destroyed my life.
(from another room) What?!
Father Juniper wants to see you!
[Lucifer skips in, humming merrily]
How may I help you, Father?
Juniper: What? Oh, I get it. Anyway, I was talking about the
[Devil walks in, wearing a halo and white robe]
What is it that I can do for you, Father?
Juniper: What? What the hell is going on? Your names are Satan,
Lucifer, and Devil?
Juniper: Oh.......whatever. Anyways, you children can go,
I just was cursing the Prince of Darkness for destroying my life.
None of you are named "The Prince of Darkness," right?
Juniper: Well, what?
Well, that was our dad's old name, now he calls himself "The Father
Formerly Known as the Prince of Darkness." It's nearly impossible
to get a vanity plate with that name on it.
[Father Juniper drops his head and starts sobbing]
Juniper: Oh God....
GOD! Get in here!
[God enters, smoking a joint with a bloody knife in his hand]
What the hell do you want?!